Most Unusual Undergarment
by MairiNathaira
Summary: Fred and George hope to start a new fashion trend.  Harry isn't quite sure about its success level - he just knows that it's not suited for vampires.  VERY BRIEF SLASH WARNING.


**Title**: Most Unusual Undergarment

**Author**: Mairi Nathaira

**Rating**: PG-13

**Category**: AU/AR, EWE, Gen, Humour, Post-War

**Notes**: I blame Katmarajade for putting this idea into my head. Many thanks to Ayla Pascal and Luvscharlie for betaing this!

**Summary**: Fred and George hope to start a new fashion trend. Harry isn't quite sure about its success level - he just knows that it's not suited for vampires.

**Pairing**: Brief mention of Harry/Neville.

**Warnings**: Vampires need to stay away from this fic. And away from South Korea for that matter.

**Dedications**: None

**Disclaimer**: Harry Potter belongs to Warner Brothers and the wonderful JK Rowling. I do not own them, despite the fact I wish I could own SS, RL, and SB. The only thing that belongs to me is the story itself.

**Feedback**: All comments and criticisms are welcomed there. If it's flame then don't bother for I will put them in my trashcan or blog about it and laugh at you.

* * *

_Harry!_

Come on by the Wheezes today. We've got a new product we'd like for you to see! It'll be fantastic to see what you say!

_– Gred and Forge_

* * *

As the powerful stench of garlic invaded his nostrils, Harry took trepid steps into the dangerous room known as the WTTR — Weasley Twins' Testing Room — or the "Lair" as the twins fondly called it. Whatever they called it, it was a room no sane human — Muggle or magical — would enter. That was especially true for vampires or anybody allergic to garlic.

Harry watched Fred and George mumble to each other, and he cautiously peered into an open box, curious to see what their latest new product was.

Well, he didn't exactly see a product, per se, but he did see a ton of garlic, all peeled and proudly displaying its pale, yellow-coloured exterior. He reeled back from their familiar scent; he could practically taste the garlic.

"Oh, hello, Harry!" Fred cheerfully said.

"Real glad you could come, mate!" George added.

"What . . . what are you making here?" Harry managed to wheeze out. He was starting to feel light-headed, and oddly enough, he began to crave garlic bread of all things.

George pulled out something, and it took Harry few minutes to figure out what it was. "What do you think?" George asked.

"It's . . . it's a bra, right?"

"Yes," Fred answered.

"Made out of garlic." He stared at the bra, stared at the breast covering and the straps, all made with garlic.

George nodded eagerly. He dangled the bra closer to Harry. "The cloves are magically attached to each other, and it took ages for us to figure out how to make it flexible so that once someone puts the strap on, it will magically clasp itself in the back. It will automatically adjust to fit any breast size.

"And," Fred continued, "this is our other design. For the kinkier folks."

Harry ogled the second design. The garlic cloves were put together to form an outline of the bra, and in the centre of each breast covering part — he had no idea what the proper term was — there was a single clove of garlic there, obviously meant to cover the nipples. Otherwise, the breasts would be fully exposed if it was worn. He coughed. "Well, it's certainly . . . kinky? But what's with this fascination with garlic?"

"You know how we went to South Korea to see if we could expand our business there?" Fred explained. "Well, we discovered that the Koreans there are absolute fanatics for garlic in their cuisines. Everything they make–"

"–garlic is always included," George piped in. "In fact, one of our potential business partners joked that South Korea is one country vampires would never visit because of all their garlic. That's when we had this idea . . . "

" . . . to make garlic undergarments!" Fred finished with a beaming smile.

Harry's mouth dropped opened. "I guess it's a creative idea, but how is this going to appeal to the public?"

"It will. Especially when we finish the Speedo-style pants. This will be perfect for those who want to ward off unwanted advances," George spoke as he jotted something down on his notebook.

"And if they want the advances, all they have to do is say 'Allium sativum' — that's the Muggle scientific name for garlic, mind you — and it will change to chocolate, which is perfect since we all know chocolate is a delicious aphrodisiac!" Fred clapped his hands once. "Now, we'd like you to test this product for us."

"Excuse me?" Harry couldn't keep the disbelief out of his voice. "Test it?"

Fred and George both nodded with evil, identical smiles. George summoned something, and he promptly gave it to Harry. "As our silent partner, you have the honour of getting the first garlic boxers from our store. Thankfully, we know your lover likes both garlic and chocolate."

Flushing, Harry felt warmth in his cheeks and his ears. "Well, I suppose Neville likes both, but–"

"No buts!" Fred began to push Harry out the door. "We won't accept your refusal. Just try it out and let us know how it goes. And don't worry. We've charmed it so the garlic won't be so spicy that it hurts your privates or wherever it touches!"

"Good to know," Harry muttered as he walked out the door.

"Let us know in twenty-four hours how it went!"

Not sure and not caring who said that last bit, Harry Apparated to his flat — the one he shared with Neville — in a daze.

* * *

_The Quibbler  
Special Edition #10 — March 2001_

__

The Wheezes Newest Product Becomes a Worldwide Hit  
By: Luna Lovegood

Long lines of customers wait for their turn to buy the "Allium Sativum Undergarment" at the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes branches throughout the Isle, the United States, and at their newest branch in Seoul, South Korea. Allium sativum is another name for garlic. The proprietors at the Wheezes created several different undergarments made of garlic, which will transform to chocolate upon saying the magic word.

_Endorsed by war heroes, Harry Potter and Neville Longbottom, these products have gained quick popularity. We at _The Quibbler_ theorised that the Nargles and the Crumpled-Horned Snorkacks also like these products, and they are affecting the wizarding society's sexual behaviours, making wizards and witches of all ages enjoy these unique bits of paraphernalia._

_If you haven't tried these ingenious undergarments, we highly recommend it. Perfect for those who love garlic and chocolate, and excellent for those who wish to ensure no vampires will sneak into their bed as they sleep._

Words: 957

Completed February 16, 2011


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